What's goin on...

*hums*

Do you ever have that kind of sleep that is broken up?
The kind that doesnt want you to sleep the full 8-9 hours??
Like your body is in conflict as to whether or not to recieve a well deserved rest?

*Note* I kinda sound like a late night early morning advertisement...:-S

Well....this is what ive been going through. Its like, I work hard while at work and then think that because of that, my body will respond by sleeping....ya know, to create that sort of balance...

but no.
It doesnt work like that.
:-/

Anywho...I can tell that Barnes and Noble is wanting to keep me and in fact, Shelly the assistant manager was pushing the fact that since there are 2 lead F/T positions opening up next year, that I should try out for that.

What leads are, these are the people that have designated sections in Barnes and Noble. For example, there are leads in Kids(Sue), Fiction(Joe), and even the likes of magazines(Julie). If there was an option, in my case, I would love to be in the section on new age and self improvement. I mean, thats what i usually read anyway...besides things like Potter.:-p

My mom pointed out the other day that the days are now getting longer, since winter solstice is in effect. I guess that is the good thing about winter is that. I am really looking forward to Spring. I really cant take much of winter. Not good on these old bones!:-p

I mean, dont you think that winter is a bit depressive?
You cant really just go outside and chill....well, literally you could and there are less things offered publicly to do..concerts locally are not found...

Indiana is a bit blahzAAA...I guess the positives are that there is much more space to roam, but then again, at the same time, people take advantage of that, if that makes sense.

I was thinking about this when I was driving home last night. There I was driving on 65, thinking about the fact that out of all the places in the world, that there were cars driving at speeds of 70, all close to each other, on our way to certain destinations....people cutting each other off....and for what purpose? Irate and full of road rage....shit, put all of those people on the roads in Indiana on london roads and claustrophobia surely will take effect!

Really, its hard to describe...the fact that in Indiana, we have all this space, but on the roads...with less space...people crowd and push and make their way....a bit pushy like in order to get to the next place.....gosh....this idea sounds better and makes more sense in my head....hmmm...Indiana isnt the crossroads of america....its the bloodclots of america...

i cant believe its only 4 in the morning. Sometimes I think that my body clock is still adjusting to the fact that I am no longer in London, but in the states.

Today, plans for Jassen and I are to head out to a Target, and for him to use up his gift card from my sister from Christmas. Later, we may or may not see Memoirs of a Geisha and then call up Cherie(for our 2nd session of massages,first one was Tuesday.) I think I have alot of tension and stress, cuz at first, when i was getting rubbed down, it felt really nice and then towards the end, i started to feel like there was some T&S stirring up from under the surface and I began to get sore from it. Now, my arm are feeling it as well as my legs, especially from all of the standing and walking around that i did yesterday at work.

I cant believe that in a matter of less than 48 hours, it will be 2006. Where has the time flown? 2005 was about a half a blink, and this year, I will be turning a quarter of a century old, and in 5 years, 30(my golden birthday)...Damn. Life sure is fleeting....why all the worrying?

Gnight/morning all!

x

:-)

Wow...

It's been one of those days when I wake up late in the day but then feel sleepy early, if that makes sense.

Jassen and I woke up around 12 pm and now, it being about 6-7pm, feel like crashing. Maybe its the day.

It has been a bit gloomy out and all and the snow has melted quite a bit from a few weeks of it being blanketed.

I am kinda in the mood to watch a movie at home. That might just happen.

So, for Christmas, I got alot of nice things.

Jassen has been super nice and I have gotten loads from him.:-S

I got...

Selphy canon photo printer*From MOM and DAD*
mario kart ds game*ditto*
512mb SD card
Clinique package....including a purse, big bottle of happy, lotion, lip gloss, shea butter, and mini lotion and perfume.*AWESOME-From Jassen*
Cucumber melon bushel of fun:-p with lotions and soaps and such*from Nicole*
Battery operated toothbrush*M&D*
2 track bottoms*MD and Nicole*
sketchbook
shirt
Chagall calender
2 pj tops
1 bottoms
Power supply unit for PC
Anatomy of drawing book
Frango mints
candy
40 year old virgin UNRATED EDITION
A walk to remember
Kronks New Groove
Homedics percussion massager
kitty calender
Shoes, but now on the search for replacements in the right size
star wars watch

For christmas eve, there was turkey with dressing and potatoes and beans and corn and cranberry sauce and gravy...and PUMPKIN PIE!! It was delish! And then the next day, there was prime rib which was awesome as well! PRime rib totally wore me out that day as well as the next, even when i was at work for 7+hours, so that was fun.

I work tomorrow 11ish in the morning til 6ish, but I need to recheck my schedule on that to double check. I am hoping that I am not scheduled for the 1st or 2nd of January, so I will find that out tomorrow fo sure.

I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas!!!!!!!!!

Lots of Love,

Jen

Gosh...

Well...I havent blogged in sometime..

Last week alone, I worked over 50 hours, so needless to say really, i was and still am super tired!!

I officially quit Kohls today, quick notification to the higher uppers and then picking up my check and making haste towards the exit. Such relief. Stupid buggers!

On the other hand, Barnes is looking up and up. I really do like the place, but this week has been soooo freakin busy. The funny thing is even on my off days, i wander to the big B&N and fancy myself a frap of some sort. Its all wonderful.:-)

Jassen has been visiting since the 15th of December and I cant believe how fast the time has gone by. Tomorrow is the 24th of December, Christmas Eve and then Christmas day will make its way as well as Boxing day, new years eve, day, and then the 2nd when Jassen is going to make his way back to the UK.

I love the fact that he is here, with me, enjoying the company of my family, etc. , sharing in the holiday traditions on how my family goes about celebrating the season...Its nice....and im glad he is here to take part. Another side of me thinks...Damn, this is just a visit...he isnt here permenantly and that part majorly sucks.

I guess it will be interesting to see where life takes the both of us in the coming year. 2006...I cant believe that its a matter of a week and a half away.....less even.

I think that the older that i get, the more stressful the holiday season seems to get and the people are like chickens with heads severed off...seriously.....the mall in merrillville.......terrible. But thats another story.:-p

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful Christmas season and peace and joy to all!!

Love,

Jen

My baby,..

is hours away from leaving his house, going on a bus, then the tube, to Heathrow Airport to get on a plane, travel 8+ hours, land, then take a bus, to me.

:-)

I am uber excited and anxious and hope that this sore throat that has developed all of a sudden goes away and leaves me be!

To Jassen---I hope that your flight goes smooothly and there are no troubles or issues and lots of positivity is coming your way!!!

So, today, I worked both Barnes and Kohls and all I have to say is man, i am tired!! I cant wait to quit KOhls...its so shit there. They call my name over the intercom and I answer the page only to find out that they had me written down for POS, when i was an hour away from getting OFF of my shift.:-S

This was according to some paper that i never saw and the manager that called me to cover that shift told me it wasnt POS.

So much miscommunication and its so crap man. I was folding jeans and shite and then this girl starts going over my folding again, because i think tonight was the night they decided to put crack in the vending machines. Since I spoke to Barnes about quitting Kohls, they slapped down some more hours since my availability has gone up.

Tomorrow, I am going to work 11-530, go home and wait for Jassen's lovely voice on the other side of the reciever of him saying, ill be in Portage 20 minutes.

Happy Camper here!!

Ah well...I really should have a shower.

x

My baby,..

is hours away from leaving his house, going on a bus, then the tube, to Heathrow Airport to get on a plane, travel 8+ hours, land, then take a bus, to me.

:-)

I am uber excited and anxious and hope that this sore throat that has developed all of a sudden goes away and leaves me be!

To Jassen---I hope that your flight goes smooothly and there are no troubles or issues and lots of positivity is coming your way!!!

So, today, I worked both Barnes and Kohls and all I have to say is man, i am tired!! I cant wait to quit KOhls...its so shit there. They call my name over the intercom and I answer the page only to find out that they had me written down for POS, when i was an hour away from getting OFF of my shift.:-S

This was according to some paper that i never saw and the manager that called me to cover that shift told me it wasnt POS.

So much miscommunication and its so crap man. I was folding jeans and shite and then this girl starts going over my folding again, because i think tonight was the night they decided to put crack in the vending machines. Since I spoke to Barnes about quitting Kohls, they slapped down some more hours since my availability has gone up.

Tomorrow, I am going to work 11-530, go home and wait for Jassen's lovely voice on the other side of the reciever of him saying, ill be in Portage 20 minutes.

Happy Camper here!!

Ah well...I really should have a shower.

x

Am I...

but a blink of an eye
as a mother nurtures
as her child cries

as any and all moments that have and might have been made,
was, were, and all slowly...slowly...surely... do fade
but the impressions are left in who we are
i mean look at the night
look at the stars

to think that those bright objects in the sky
no matter how relative to us
some no longer exist
yet we enjoy its twinkle in our minds

the longing of a lover
and my very best best friend
the desire to be myself
and not my only friend

the truth of the matter
is not a matter of truth
it has no wings
and is nothing of a spoof

to end a thought
brings beginnings of others
but what is the transition from one to the next

THAT is the secret to life
that is the question and the answer

Survey says!!

Here is my horoscope for today:


You may be walking around as if you have a huge pack of stones strapped on to your back, Jennifer. The further you walk with this heavy load, the slower and slower you will become, and the more hunched over you will be by the time you reach your destination. Don't take a step further until you have unloaded the stones from your pack. Realize that this break in your journey will help you make much better time in the long run, as well as save you from a great deal of physical strain.

Hmm...I wonder if this has anything to do with "one" of my jobs?? I am growing excessively tired of this job and Im not sleeping well because of it. My sleeping patterns are also a bit fcuked.

So, i was reading one of the only forums that i visit on the net, and I found a picture of one of my old bf's new gf. I looked and I looked and thought, man, this chick kinda has a bit of my look. Either I look german or my old bf has a certain look of a gf he goes for. Its kinda strange. I mean, when I look at the eyes and a bit of the lips and kinda the hairstyle it reminds me of me about 3-4 years back. *shakes head*

I calculated how many hours total of work I will be working this week at both jobs and it will equal up to about 46.5. So far, I have gotten in 13.5 of that supposed total, this week. My body is definitely feeling it cuz I have been working straight days for 7 days and by saturday, that will make it 12.

Well, i just SPACED OUT!*becomes wide-eyed*

I dont even know why im awake now. Ive only slept from 9ishpm to 1isham. I think 5 more hours of sleep would be most excellent! Ive drawn more pictures lately, so when I get the chance, I will either post em OR I will continue to draw others so that I have a bigger collection to post all in one fluid SWWWWWooP!

Hope all is well!

x

Haha...

here is my horoscope today.

The funny bit is that for the most part, this is all true.

A temporary separation from a romantic partner might have you feeling in the depths of despair today, Jennifer. You might find your imagination conjuring up all sorts of dreadful scenarios, such as your beloved finding someone else. Don't do this to yourself. Your friend probably misses you just as much. Keep yourself busy so that the days pass quickly until your friend comes back and you're together again. Be patient!

Jassen will be visiting in 5 days, so there is alot of anxiety as well as ants in my pants about him being here. Ive been working hard at both of my jobs, but I do think that Kohls is a big degree of suckiness, for real. There is a scheduling conflict to occur on the friday and saturday (16th/17th) and if my shifts are not gotten rid of, I will opted in favour for Barnes and Noble. Crap man, I get 50% of in the cafe!! And I think that there is a 40% off sale going on for the employees, so i am going to ask people if they want some books!!!

*sighs*

:-)

Alright...Breakfast time!!

RAWR RAWR!!

*sighz*

Do you ever have one of those days in which things are just big phat pants!?!?

Well, thats me today. I wonder if it had anything to do with the coffee I had earlier...Im so sensitive..

Erk.

I work tonight 7 hours minus a break and two mini free breaks at KOhls....SHould be fun.:-S

I hope all of you are well and things are going good!

Writing to reach woo..

How do you usually use words in condolences?/

I want to write a poem thing but how to start...A family friends parent died a few days ago, and I even had a premonition dream about the family friends the night before. I also dreamed that my sister and I got paid 69 dollars each for watching the family friends kids.

Weirdness.

Anywho...a poem for a loss.

Loved Ones are never far away,
for they are in a SMILE
a wrinkle
a breath of fresh air
and all the things that invigorate the soul.

And as you look at all of the moments
and memories past
You realize that life is not about the big stuff
but all the small things that make up the whole,
who we are
at this very moment
this very now.

But times like these,
words are never enough
to paint the emotions that one feels
but bear in mind
love is all around
we are love
so loved ones are never far away.

So, today...

ended up being an okay day.

I was positive...oh yesh...POSITIVE!

But the downside was the fact that one of my days that I requested off, was not followed through properly. So, now, it is up to me to figure out how its going to be covered. This is at Barnes, btw. I listed the day as well as another and put it on a cork board in hopes that some people will pick em up. If not, there is gwanna be trouble...*sighs*

I am eating pizza from yesterday and it surely does not taste as good as yesterday. I think im going to turn on the tube and chill.

Hope all is well with all of yaz!

:-)

Today has been...

a rather good day...

besides getting woken up early from the dryness of the house and bumps and bangs, I am feeling okay.

Today is my first official training day at Barnes & Noble. I will give an update as to how that goes, but it should be a fun day of learning the ropes and such, so im looking forward.

Even Jassen said that he was excited about the prospects of learning something new, in respects to moi. So, thats alot of positive going and a flowin! Got my boots on, started the jeep, got my water, need the baffoom, but i will be on my way to a new and positive/people person kinda day. Im excited!!

LAta!!

Survey says!

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?

had my ups and downs, but its been a really busy workish year for me. Had 5+ jobs, more than half that were in London, lived with my boo for 10+ months, learned more about myself.

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?

Anytime I was positive and happy.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?

Anytime in which I felt negative and depressed and lost in direction.

4) Where were you when 2005 began?

I was near the London Eye in London, England with my boo, walking around near Buckingham Palace.

5) Who were you with?

I was with Jassen and a butt load of drunken scary people in the streets. :-p

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?

In my hometown, probably at my house.

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?

I will be with Jassen and my folks.

8) Did you keep your new years resolution of 2005?

I dont remember really what they were.

9) Do you have a new years resolution for 2006?

I could think of a few now, i guess. Work, make money, go to England, lose 20 pounds.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?

I fall in love everytime I let myself realize I am loved by someone very special to me.

11) If yes, with who?

My booo!!

12) If yes, do they know?

Oh yes.

13) Are you still in love with them?

Always.


14) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?

Nopers.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?

I did, but really more aquaintances and friends in passing.


18) What was your favorite month of 2005?

June

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?

Yes.

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?

Yes. Michigan and Illinois.

21) Did you lose anybody in 2005?

No one in my immediate family or extended family, but family friends at least 2.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?

Sure.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?

Hmm...think think think...ive seen a handful of movies but cant think

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?

Oh gosh...maybe an elbow song. Not quite sure.

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?

Hmmm...Leaders of the free world....maybe...

26) How many concerts did you see in 2005?

Let's think...Doves, Guster, Glastonbury Festival, Coldplay, Sigur Ros, and i think that was the whole kit and kaboodle, so 4 concerts and 1 festival.

27) Did you have a favorite concert in 2005?

I would say most were good and I love Guster but Coldplay have vastly improved from 2002.

28) Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?

Not too much, but I was drunk about 1.5 times.

29) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?

Nope.

30) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?

Well....actually sleeping sleeping, that would be 3 people, but sleeping as in sexual...teehee...just 1.

31) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

Oh sure. If someone claims they havent, then they are kidding themselves.

33) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?

Hahaha....yea, not going to answer that.

34) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?

Probably did.

35) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?

It's been done.

36) How much money did you spend in 2005?

Hmm...dont know exactly, but it went towards student loans, insurances, plane tickets, clothings, etc.


37) What was your proudest moment of 2005?

When ever im creative and create something.

38) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?

Saying something that someone else shouldnt have seen or heard.

39) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?

I wouldnt. The choices I have made up until now, make up who i am, whether or not if it was the right or wrong choice..


40) What are your plans for 2006? making money and being with Jassen ASAP!

I hope...

that everyone is doing well.

Sorry for not a resent update, ive just been working a bit and its wearing me out!

I havent properly worked in about 6 months, so its a bit of a change of pace, so to speak.

At the moment, I am drinking da coffee,eating a bagel, and a danish treat!!

Today, Pepper gets her stitches out from the spayed and neutering operation, so that will be nice as well as the cone that had to be put on around her head for 10 days. FREEEEEDOM, Pepper..FREEEEEDOM!!*acts like mel gibson in Braveheart*

:-)

Grrr....baby!

Sexy pose!!

Do you ever have those days when you feel like youve aged?? Yea....*sighz*

Randomz

Da pic is a bit blurry but this is what was on my plate for Thanksgiving. And now look......the freakin wishbone was on my plate and I wasnt paying attention!

Drats..

Today...

was an interesting day. Man, I use the word interesting alot.:-p

On the way to training today, there was a bit of drama drama!!

I was driving and it was a-snowin'!! I saw about 5-6 accidents and people in ditches. In fact, the ramp that I would normally get off at, it was blocked with cars and trucks that were going nowhere and at a standstill, so I managed to get on another ramp and continued on my way until i found a u-turn that was a bit.....well, not so very legal. I got on the opposite way of the same ramp and proceeded to the exit. In a ditch, near the ramp there was a guy that had both of his front and back tires(all 4) on the higher ground but was over a ditch, if that makes sense. SO, the ditch was under him, but he was trapped and needed a tow truck.

I told the toll booth lady about the car and it took her about a minute of me saying where he was at before she understood. OY!

I then saw a girl that i went to school with either at Portage High School or Valpo and she was in a fender bender as well. Lots of people on the side of the road.

I got into work about 10 minutes late, but it was understandable.

I had the computer training, and then I had the training on a cashier till(or POS=point of sale)

At one point, Shirley(i believe thats her name), gave me some help cuz i asked for it and she remarked that she had a headache. I then showed her the reflexology thing in the hands and later, she commented that her sinuses were draining, so it helped some. YAY ME!!

I ended up getting more hours on top of the ones that i was getting, so I will be working on Friday, Saturday, Monday, Tuesday, and Friday at Kohls and Barnes and Nobles the other days...busy busy for sure! But that means money and thats a good thing.

I was able to request the day in which I will be picking Jassen up at the airport, so that makes me happy, but now I have to worry how they schedule me for after the 11th of December and hope for no conflicts.:-S

I want some cocoa so im going to make some and drink it up, yO!!

*on crrrrrack*

TA!

*Sighz*

Recently, Ive been adding Z thangs to the end of words.

It's fun.

Ive been also having whacked up dreamz that I dont necessarily want to share here, but I just want to insist to youz that they have been of a weird and messed up variety.

Also, I have training at Kohls this morning from 8-12. This part of the training deals with the cash registers, so I think in part, some will be on the computer and then I will physically go out to one of them with a headset and practice a bit with them, then come back and take a test. Yay....test..

Oh, my mom came to my door saying that there is snow on the ground so i should consider adding more time to my traveling to work this morning. I was planning on leaving in about a half hour or so, so...I still think that is plenty of time, due to that giving me about 10 extra minutes to get my butt there.

I dont know if I am liking the whole Kohls thang. I use to have a best friend Amanda and now, she works at the Kohls that I am starting to work for. She was a bit off to me on tuesday when i came up to her and said, HELLO! How are you? And she was like Hi. Fine. And then there was a pause in the conversation(what little their was with the greeting bit) and then I asked....You know who I am, dont you?? And she said yes. And then she had a customer and that was that. She is a bit of a snobbed but I dont think she has really changed out of that and thats a bit annoying to me.

I think that might have been one of the reasons that the friendship went to crap but I really dont remember the main reason for it crumbling. I guess there was one thing that I said....since we were going to different colleges, I didnt see how to remain friends or something and I said, well we are parting ways....Rather silly of me to say, thinking back...and she took major offense and we didnt end up going to England like we were planning on to....But then about 4 years later, I went on my own to England and thats how i met Jassen, so in a way, I am glad where the choices have lead me, but I wish I was little nicer back then. I am just still wondering if Amanda is holding a grudge because of that.

Alright...I should probably ready myself....have about 25 mins..

Hope all of you are well!

x