You know...

the old saying, quality not quantity??

Well I'm mostly quality when it comes to my blog, cuz heck, i really do this for me, getting my mumbled thoughts out there, and maybe get a little feedback from it, from time to time...But yea, i sorta have a hidden agenda.

I was looking at my total blogs that I have done since being here(this one will be 340) and a big part of me wants to have 365 by the time July 27th rolls around. One for everyday of the year, even though at times, I blog more than once, it works out in my head!:-s

I guess its kinda like when your small and you are walking down a sidewalk with cracks. You say to yourself, "If I can manage to get past this rough patch of cracks, not step on any, I wont die." It's like little challenges for yourself. It's strange, but I know I'm not alone in this strange phenomena.

So, last night was another night downstairs, on the ground. It is way too hot in the bedroom, it being on the 2nd floor and all, and there is no chance in heck that anyone would sleep in that incubator!

I have yet to open the curtains in the front room/living room and I may hold off from adding 15-20 degrees more into the room. The past 2 days have been hot weather, now its a combo of both hot AND HUMID. It's really the humidity that gets to people. Really I should be drinking more water and hopefully I can motivate myself enough to do some pilates(since it makes me feel goood).

I can't believe today is July 20th. There are 19 more days until I fly back to the states. I mean, I am excited at the fact that I will get to see and be with my family again(that parts always nice) but Im sure that intial feeling will wear down to the norm(what ever the norm is) and then I will be craving London again and missing Jassen even more. I guess the good part is by the time I start to feel like that, he will be visiting in a month. And to me, a month is not that long. I think the worst part will be not seeing him until December(that will be a little bit more than 2 months).

It's always a bit strange but semi-exciting. When you are apart from a loved one. When you see each other, you see them physically in a different light. I mean, you've had separate experiences through work and play, but of course, you keep in contact via messengers,cams, emails, phone, text, etc...but when you see them again....it's like a rush of freshness. Part of me feels scared, scared that things might have changed too much, etc....my paranoia kicks in(since it's a combination of different experiences but also the realization that i have such wonderful person in my life, I challenge whether or not I am deserving)..but then after a small amount of time, you feel that comfort that you are use to, that I'm use to.

I guess I take for granted being so close to Jassen that when we are apart and come back together, my perspective on him changes(and it's like I'm falling in love again in a new light.) All good though(since i realize I have quite the hottie on my hands!:-p). It's keeps me on my toes! Change is good. Really it is.

*sighs*

Love is a many splendid thing...;-)